Understanding Successful Lifestyle Etiquette

Open-minded sexuality is an extremely broad term — do not assume that everyone is the same or similar, unless you are only focused in broad terms.

Do not be so full of yourself that you dismiss anything as “just common sense.” If common sense were so common, the word “mistake” wouldn’t exist. Don’t make mistakes.

There are many things that cause those involved in the varied Poly Social communities to gravitate together. Finding like-mindedness is difficult. It’s not all about looks, ego, and willingness.

Keep in mind — the entire human race is subject to all the same fallibility found anywhere else outside of Poly Social settings.

Just because everyone identifies as sexually open-minded does not mean everyone is a good or perfect fit for one another.

People who have engaged in Poly Social encounters often have specific protocols and expectations.

Those who wish to engage in sexual fantasy pursuits may also have expectations, but fewer protocols — because they haven’t defined their boundaries as clearly as those with experience.

Mind’s eye fantasy and reality rarely intersect, so be rational, be reasonable, and keep your hopes intact — but lower your expectations.

Have a mindful thought process before allowing yourself to become emotionally engaged in sexual activity. Quit focusing on “the charm and pick-up.”

Thorough communication is key — and once you believe you completely understand, get more specific clarity.

Within the confines of any Poly Social setting, one should default to the same behaviors expected in public.

Take off your ego cloak and relate to others with complete honesty. There’s no room for manipulators. Keep in mind: those who act with agendas will be identified and eventually ostracized.

No matter how much your genitalia wants to engage with another — that alone does not make it okay, simply because someone identifies as sexually open-minded.

We all know that No means NO. This does not mean it’s okay to test the waters until you receive a “No.” Someone having to say “No” means you’ve already gone too far. An affirmative and clear invitation is the only acceptable path.

If you are new to the Poly Social community, educate yourself, err on the side of caution, and again — communicate very clearly with others.

Sometimes people project various energies, and one may take that as “a sign” you’re sure about. Assuming is wrong. Poly Social members tend to be huge flirts and jestful — it means absolutely nothing.

What one may consider subtle actions can and will offend and/or repel others. Don’t stalk, stare, make comments, touch in any way, interject, invite yourself, or otherwise enter anyone else’s dynamic by any means.

Once engaged in sexual activity with others (not your partner), NEVER undertake any sexual action without absolute certainty — prior communication — that the other person is 101% desirous. In that moment, not only can this immediately change a positive dynamic into a negative, it most likely will.

Make certain you are completely aware of others’ relationship statuses. There are those who use reluctant or naive persons as a passport into Poly Social settings.

Just because you want to engage in Poly Social activity doesn’t mean you should pressure ANYONE else into it. And do not think it’s okay that your partner is willing to “take one for the team.” That’s absolutely UNACCEPTABLE.

Offering gain or advantage of any type to or from another to engage in sex (the legal definition) is illegal. Do not attempt to bring a sex worker to Poly Social events of any kind.

Getting emotionally carried away with someone other than your partner is going to end badly. If you’re prone to this, you’ve placed yourself in the wrong setting.

Don’t be reluctant or afraid to tell your partner or others what you want and/or don’t want — even if things change in the moment. This must be respected 101% of the time.

Never take photographs or videos without knowing it is 101% acceptable with the person(s) being photographed or filmed — and be mindful of those in the background. Discretion is paramount, and ANY breach of confidentiality is never excusable, including verbal disclosures of identities.

Disparaging others and establishments in these communities is a bad idea and frowned upon. Discreetly warning or informing others of a person(s) or establishment(s) that FACTUALLY pose risk or danger is quite different — and necessary. This does not mean sharing your negative opinion.

Physical shaming is never acceptable. For everyone in the world, there is someone who appreciates their shape. This also applies to sexual preferences — just because it’s not for one doesn’t mean it’s not for anyone else. If one is not harming themselves or others, there is no issue.

Grooming and hygiene are paramount! You must clean yourself before, during, and after any sexual or close personal activity. Most people will not inform you, to avoid embarrassment — for themselves or for you. This includes health hygiene. In this age of pandemic disease, it’s no different (in a manner of speaking) than an STD.

Acceptance and tolerance are absolutely necessary components of everyday life — and therefore, they are integral to Poly Social communities as well. But acceptance and tolerance are not to be used as an excuse for your lack of consideration toward others or your poor behavior and character.

Putting yourself or others on a pedestal is very off-putting and alienates people.

Creating cliques tends to express a sense of superiority and, at the very least, eliminates chances to meet other amazing individuals. Likewise, assuming a group is a clique is also unwise — because it may eliminate your chance to make new friends.

Prejudices based on marital or relationship status create obvious inequalities and hostilities, and set the stage for unfair stereotypes — which is plainly wrong. There are great people of all statuses.

Have the moral fiber and polite communication skills to let others know if you feel reluctant or change your mind about engaging with them. In other words, have the courage and respect to communicate instead of ghosting or flaking.

Attempting to negotiate a “No” is simply wrong. People shouldn’t be pressured or made to explain themselves — and don’t develop a negative attitude over it.

All persons in any dynamic must agree. Without a dynamic of complete agreement, you’re setting up immediate and future problems — or worse.

If you wouldn’t say it to someone in person, don’t text it, email it, post it, or communicate it in any form. And if you are bold and brash enough to say it in person — you may not last very long in this community.