Understanding Successful Lifestyle Etiquette
Open minded sexuality is an extremely broad term, do not assume that everyone is the same or similar, unless you are only focused in broad terms.
Do not be so full of yourself that you dismiss anything as “just common sense”. If common sense were so common, the word ‘mistake’ wouldn’t exist. Don’t make mistakes.
There are many things which cause all of those involved in the varied sexually open minded communities to gravitate together. Finding like mindedness is difficult. Its not all about looks, ego and willingness.
Keep in mind the entire human race is subject to all the fallibility found anywhere else outside of lifestyle settings.
Just because everyone identifies as sexually open minded does not mean everyone is a good or perfect fit for another.
People who have engaged in open minded sexual encounters have specific protocols and expectations.
Those that wish to engage in sexual fantasy pursuits also have expectations, but less protocols because they haven’t determined their boundaries as specifically as those who have had experiences.
Mind’s eye fantasy and reality rarely intersect, so be rational, reasonable and keep your hopes in tact, but lower your expectations.
Have a mindful thought process before allowing yourself to be emotionally engaged in becoming sexually involved and quit focusing on “the charm and pick up”.
Thorough communication is key and once you believe you completely understand, get more specific clarity.
Within the confines of any socially sexually open minded setting, one should default themselves to the same behaviors as they undertake in public.
Take off your ego cloak and relate to others with complete honesty, there’s no room for manipulators. Keep in mind, those who engage in agendas will be identified to others and will eventually be ostracized.
No matter how much your genitalia wants to engage with another does not mean its okay, simply because they identify as sexually open minded.
We all know that No, means NO! This does not mean its okay to test the waters, at all, until you receive a “NO”. Someone having to say No, means you’ve already gone too far. An affirmative and clear invitation is the only acceptable path.
If you are new to the lifestyle communities, educate yourself, error on the side of caution and again communicate very clearly with others.
Sometimes others project various energies and one may take that as “a sign” that you feel certain about. Assuming is wrong, lifestylers tend to be huge flirts and jestful, it means absolutely nothing.
What one may consider subtle actions can and will offend and/or repel others. Don’t stalk, stare, make comments, touch in any way, interject, invite yourself or otherwise enter anyone else’s dynamic by any means.
Once engaged in sexual activity with others (not your partner) NEVER undertake any sexual action without absolute certainty (prior communication) the other is 101% desirous. In that moment, not only can this immediately change a positive dynamic into a negative, it most likely will.
Make certain you are completely aware of others relationship status. There are those who use reluctant or naive persons as a passport into sexually open minded settings.
Just because you want to engage in the lifestyle, don’t pressure ANYONE else into these communities. And, do not think its okay that your lifestyle partner is okay with “taking one for the team”. Its absolutely UNACCEPTABLE.
Offerings of gain or advantage of any type to or from another to engage in sex (the legal definition) is illegal. Do not attempt to bring a sex worker to lifestyle events of any type.
Getting emotionally carried away with anyone beside your partner is going to end badly. If you are prone to this circumstance, you’ve placed yourself in the wrong setting.
Don’t be reluctant or scared to tell your partner or another what you want and/or don’t want, even if things change in the moment. This is to be respected 101% percent of the time.
Never take photographs or video without knowing its101% acceptable with the person(s) being photographed/videotaped and be mindful of those in the background. Discretion is paramount and ANY breach of confidentiality is never excusable, including verbalizations of identities.
Disparaging others and establishments in these communities is a bad idea and frowned upon. Discretely warning or informing of a person(s) or establishment(s) who FACTUALLY pose risk or danger is quite different and necessary. This does not mean, render your negative opinion.
Physicality shaming is never considered acceptable. For everyone in the world there is another who appreciates their shape. This also applies to sexual preferences, just because its not for one, doesn’t mean its not for anyone else. If one is not harming themselves or others there is no issue.
Grooming Hygiene is paramount! You must clean yourself before, during and after any sexual or close personal activity. Most people will not inform you and chance embarrassing themselves or you. This includes Health Hygiene. In this age of pandemic disease, its no different (in a manner of speech) than an STD.
Acceptance and Tolerance are absolutely necessary components of everyday life, therefore it is integral to lifestyle communities as well. Acceptance and Tolerance are not to be used as an excuse for your lack of considerations of others and your poor behavior and character.
Putting yourself or others on a pedestal is very off-putting and alienates others.
Creating Cliques tends to express a superiority and at the very least eliminates chances to meet other amazing individuals. Assuming a group is a Clique is also not a good idea because you also eliminate opportunity to make new friends.
Prejudices of martial / relationship status creates obvious inequalities and hostilities, and sets the stage for unfair stereotypes, which is plainly wrong. There are great people of all status.
Have the moral fiber and polite articulation ability to let others know if you have any reluctance or changes of mind about engaging with them. In other words have the courage and respect to communicate instead of ghosting or flaking.
Attempting to negotiate a “NO” is simply wrong, people shouldn’t be pressured or made to explain themselves. And, don’t develop a negative attitude over it.
All persons in any dynamic must agree. Not having a dynamic with complete agreement sets up immediate and future problems or worse.
If you wouldn’t say it to someone in person, don’t text it, email it, post it or otherwise communicate it. If you are uncouth enough to be so bold and brash in person, you may not last very long in this community.